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Jamie Cullens Writing Competition 2024

Disclaimer: This poem is an amalgamation of my own experiences and the experiences of several past and present colleagues over an extended period of time. It does not necessarily represent an accurate depiction of every female’s experience in the Australian Defence Force, and should not be taken as such.

Day One Me saw bright horizons
Out there with planes and tanks
New job, new goals, new way of life
It's time for me to join the ranks.

I felt the voice before it spoke 
Heavy, scared and new 
It whispered faintly in my head 
"You're the only woman in the room."

Avoiding eyes, I kept in line 
Don't falter, fight or assume 
I bit my tongue, and found my place 
As the only woman in the room.

Still, double standards come in waves 
You're weak if tears are shed 
Apparently, our greatest challenge 
Is keeping our troops from our beds.

My hair was pulled and patches ripped off 
"You're strong for a girl" in my ear 
My gender, now the office novelty 
And 'ma'am' feels like a sneer.

But God forbid I ever complain! 
Be grateful, be strong, stand tall 
As boys’ club members sing their chant 
"You're lucky to be here at all."

It’s easier to keep the peace 
A pokerface I dare not break 
It turns out smiles and 'it's okay's 
Just aren't that hard to fake.

"You're just too hard on yourself." 
Well, maybe I have to be? 
If I don't run twice as fast 
I'll be taken half as seriously.

Even now, there's binding duty 
These stories aren't mine to tell 
If I fail, I've failed us all 
And by hand, built our cell.

Others had worse, we've come so far 
But still a ways ahead 
Pioneers slaved so I could fly 
She paved the roads I tread.

And Day One Me still burns bright 
Her voice, it only grew 
One day I know I'll be proud to say 
"I was the only woman in the room."

Jamie Cullens Writing Competition 2024

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